One Wish

Time, I wish I had more time.

I wish I could go back in time, to meet her before she met her significant other.

I wish I had more time, so that I could move to Netherlands to be with her every single day.

I wish I had more time to talk to her, to get to know her more like I know myself.

I wish I had more time just to look at her, I would do anything just to see her one more minute.

I wish I had more time just to tell her how much I love her, before she even said anything.

Now that I can’t be with her..

I just wish she is right here, so I could tell her everything I just said. And wish her happy…

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Bad

“There are plenty of fishes in the sea”, “You are such a fool loving someone you will never have”, “You are so bad”, they said….

If that’s the case, then I can only say.. Yes, I am bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be, than me.

It’s been so long my fellow readers.. I’ll be giving some updates soon. So stay tuned 🙂

Stay Healthy, Stay Safe.

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Employed

These coming months, I’m no longer “unemployed” as a student. Remember the Population By-Census job I was talking about a month ago? I got it! This means I’m going to give up the scholarship I got for the oversea exchange program.
It’s sad, but the money I’ll be making from this job, enough for me to do another trip to anywhere. And I don’t need to study for it 😛
So technically, it’s a win win situation for me. If I’m not going on a trip, I still have the money to spend. Triple win! XD

(Oh and by the way, this is technically my first job. Because I had been working for my parents all along. Not anymore, my employer now, the government…)

Further edit:
No no wait, I’m working for the people actually. The work I will be doing, is solely for the future development of Hong Kong, in every way you can imagine. So my employers, are anyone who lives in Hong Kong. If you are a Hong Kong citizen reading this. Thank you for your taxes. I’ll be taking that.

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The Joker

“You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain”
 
I can tell you I have experienced this more than anyone else as a gamer(or former gamer.. whatever, who am I kidding, once a gamer, forever a gamer right). I had been trying my very best to have fun in games, trying to be the “good guys”, trying to bring out how friendly the community can be. But it turns out, being the “bad” guys or toxic/cancerous is the most convenience and effective way to climb the rankings, and beating people with ease.
 
Pretty much same thing in real life, no one wants the good guys, we deserve them but we don’t need them. Being bad, sadly is what makes people success nowadays. Because being good is boring.
 
I am slowly seeing myself becoming the villain. I feel bad for beating those who are trying to have fun in a game. Using cheap and low tactics but legit ways to make people losing interest and becoming frustrated. I regret doing it. I was doing for a good intention. I wanted to punish those bad guys. So I decided to become one. But fighting fire with fire, actually backfired. Now I realised how easy and how rewarding it can be being bad. I’m afraid I might be turning into one, in games and real life as well.
 
It’s a temptation that no one can repel. Not even me can hold it for long. I will fall one day, for I am alone facing it. Just hope when that day comes, I will still have some compassion in my heart, that can remind me of who I was…
Anyway, hope you are all doing fine so far. I’m tired.. So, until next time, Stay Healthy Stay Safe.
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Return

So.. You must be wondering where I’ve been in these few weeks. It’s been quite a while since I wrote something.

Been having quite a few changes these days. You may not know, first of all, I am a 9GAG fans. Been a 9gager since 2010. And I’ve been really active there for years. Few weeks ago, I applied to become a 9gag cookie producer or user or something like that. It’s for people who have a certain publicity to share their stories, contents, experience or just random stuffs to entertain and letting people to follow. I got selected as well. So maybe soon, I will more publicity for my blogs and contents. That’s a good way to promote my blogs and my drawing den 🙂

And apart from that, I applied for a temporary job by the government, I think I wrote about it somewhere before the posts. A job about Population By-Census and I just had an interview today. It was sort of going well, unfortunately, I almost failed on a certain language. I need to speak some sentences in 3 different languages, English, Cantonese and Putonghua, and I almost failed Putonghua part.. But, at the same time, I exile in English speaking part. And I think I did well on the written test. So, I still have a chance, I didn’t really failed completely. We’ll see..

If I got the job, then I’m certainly going to celebrate. The money I will be making is going to be a trip to London. Why? That’s something I will talk about late. But if I failed, I also applied an internship on my English Studies course. So that’s something right. The internship is my backup plan.

Speaking of that, I turned down the scholarship from the English courses to Birmingham University in UK. I don’t have that kind of money yet even with scholarship. That’s really unfortunate. But what the hell… I have other things to do.

Now, why London? Shouldn’t I be going to Netherlands? Well, Judit is going to London again to visit the Harry Potter exhibition in Universal Studio. She invited me to come along. And I’m so freaking thrilled. I wish I could, but now I don’t have enough money for the trip. I don’t have to worry about living, because she has a friend in London can let us stay over. So, all I need, is to earn plane tickets and 5 days of accommodations. That’s still a lot, but now I have some money saved, plus the money I will be making in the upcoming job. I will have enough, I think…

Speaking of Judit, yeah you maybe asking, how’s she. She is doing great, she had a few problems with her friends, I tried to comfort her, but honestly, I think she is doing fine nonetheless. She is a soft person though, get emotional too easy. A guy treated her like shit, and she’s still with him. I don’t like the guys she’s been hanging out with. Maybe because I am jealous… I don’t know..

The things we do for love, is just too powerful, too confusing, too illogical. Everything I do right now, is totally centered around Judit. Why do I get a job, because of Judit. Why do I want to earn money, because of Judit. Why do I want to travel to London/Netherlands, because of Judit. Why do I still have insomnia, because of Judit.

This, my fellow readers and friends, is the power of love. It drives you to do many unexpectable things. Things you will never thought of doing it. I never want to get a job, or earn money, or travel.. I just want to stay home and sleep all day. And yet, Judit changes me. To be a better person. This is why I love her, so much. Yes, I still love her, after all this time, as always.

The chances I will be meeting her, is still fairly low.  I don’t expect too much at the moment. I’m waiting for my plans to fall into places. I might fail miserably, but at least I tried. Very hard. I even skip meals everyday just to save those extra money. Now, I went from $10 from the day I started school, to now $4,700. In half a year, just from the meals money. Imagine if I had a job… With the $10k I’ll be making, I definitely have the tickets to London.

So.. School. How was it? Well, I’ll be having a speech next week that I have to give. But I’m good, as my Public Speaking teacher said, I am a public speaking natural. She challenges me to act and speak like a TED talker. Challenge accepted! The rest of the course? So so, Passed everything so far. That’s all I wanted.

I really need to take a shower now, I’m all greasy and tired because of the interview today. Anyway, here’s my story so far. Have a nice day, and I’ll write more in the near future. Stay Healthy, Stay Safe.

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Scholarship

I got the Overseas Programme Scholarship!!
(Half the price for this year summer exchange programme in University of Birmingham)

However, I also got the job interview next month for The Hong Kong Population By-Census. Which will be during the same period as the exchange programme.
(Temporary job by the government, it pays well..)

Some say go for the experience, some say go for the payout.
I say, why not both? Take the job(if I get it), earn the money. Then go for a trip.. Netherlands, London, Japan, anywhere. Plus job experience, which I will be needing it very soon.

It’s the most logical choice, but maybe not the best choice.. Worth it? Now that is the question…

 

Anyway, hope you all have a great day, today it’s just a quick update. I’ll write some more these days. Stay healthy, Stay safe.

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Little updates

Been days since my last post, how are you all readers? Hope everything is fine so far.

Me? Same old…

Insomnia is still my main issue. My average sleeping time is around 3-4am. I sleep 2-3 hours per day.. Tired as hell in the day time. Hard to focus at all. An English teacher that teaches me Drama course has been treating me very well. We chat a lot and communicate a lot, even privately in text message. She understands my problem and has been giving me advices. She even prays for me, and give me blessings. I’m really appreciated for everything she has done. We are becoming good friends instead of just student teacher relationship. Just like Melanie, who taught me English Speaking last year. I even drew a portrait for her a while ago. Anyway, Katie, the Drama teacher has been very kind and caring, it’s the little things that makes me feel glad and appreciated. Here is a shout out to her. She is a good teacher and I wish her well. To top up that, as a student representative in my class, I talked a few good words for her in the Teacher-Student Consultant Meeting with our program department head 🙂

So…. talking about insomnia… Yeah, Judit, is still the main reason why I can’t sleep. I miss her a lot. And I still love her, so much. Distance is really a bitch sometimes. She’s doing well so far. She is having a trip to New York next month. I wish her a safe trip.

Aside from that, I’ve already saved up some money for the trip to London/Netherlands. I think it’s around $600 USD for now. Still a long way, but I recently got an email from the government about the temporary job on

Aside from that, I’ve already saved up some money for the trip to London/Netherlands. I think it’s around $600 USD for now. Still a long way, but I recently got an email from the government about the temporary job on Population By-Census. I got an interview on April. And it’s going to last for a month with like $1,200-$1,500 USD pays. I’m really looking forward to it. If I got that job, I’m certainly have enough money for a trip this Christmas or next year whatsoever. Wish me luck on that.

So… what else.. Ah, school, been stable. Nothing really worth mentioning. Except a bit too much homework maybe 😛

Can’t think of anything else to write.. I think I’ll stop it here and continue next time. My brain is not working well. As usual… Anyway, have a great weekends, Stay Healthy, Stay Safe.

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Normal

Morticia Addams once said, “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”

A random topic I saw on internet and it caught my eyes. It turned out to be quite a debate between a random person and I. In the next few paragraphs, I’m going to copy paste the whole debate(not very long) in here. I think it’s a good topic to think of for you all readers.

Here are the statement from that random person:

“Just because it’s subjective doesn’t make it an illusion. Normal exists, it includes the natural, sensible and expected actions and behaviours of all living species. We, humans, for instance, at an almost total majority, act and live similarly (of course this “similar” varies quite a bit, we’re not identical). Normal is defined by each living form, and values for this particular form. We though,are intelligent enough to be able to realise that normal is such a relative to each of the species word.” – Stratos Katsikeros

So…. What is Normal? What is the definition of Normal? Is Normal really an illusion?

I then started a debate with him….

Here is my response:

“Well I’m not disagreeing, but I would say Normal is defined by the majority of people’s subjective sense. For example, wearing cloths in public is an idea accepted by the majority therefore it is classified as “Normal”. But for some people, they would rather choose going naked. Like nude beach. Now let me ask, is it normal? Time, sense of time is considered normal because we’ve been using time as measurement for thousands of years. But time, doesn’t exist. We created this measurement, primitive animals don’t use it. Is time an illusion? In my opinion, yes, Normal is an illusion. We create our values of being Normal. Normal is basically the majority human’s subjectivity based on common value. Which means it is still imaginative. It physically doesn’t exist. We think it exists. Our Normal is chaos for any other species on Earth. But like I said in every situation, “There is no right or wrong in any statement or situation, it’s a matter of Perspective.”
Anyway, this is just my side of perspective, doesn’t mean I’m right to some people. Does that mean I’m not normal? Again… :)”

Pretty interesting so far right?

ok, here is his response:

“People hanging at nudity beaches.. totally cool with that, you can however easily call it abnormal, since it is not corresponding to the usual behaviour of the vast majority. Yes, I think we agree that Normal is a convention of the human kind, but you can’t call it an illusion to the human kind, since we live with it! It might be an illusion for an objective observer of the universe, but not for a creature on a planet. Now, as for the ”illusion” of time, if it actually was a human convention then the universe would not age, and it’s celestial formations would remain unchanged! Time is actually the reason behind gradual process and alteration in the universe. Still an abstract, hard to be captured by the human mind concept, but nonetheless, existing. Since the existence of the universe cannot be called an illusion -at least, to the earth-living creatures-, I believe that like anything else we humans can feel, see, understand and create, meanings like Normality, made by us, can be deemed real existences in the observable and understandable world we know. And it’s regarding physical form at a great extent, because some existing physical standards as a result of historical and biological route can’t be denied…” – Stratos Katsikeros

Now things starting to get a bit more interesting and intense… He made a pretty good counter argument. But here is my response to that:

“We live with an idea, that’s already an illusion. Because ideas can be infused. Take Inception as an example, I can give you an idea that is not exist but you might live with it for the rest of your life. Sense of “time” doesn’t exist. We create it, infused it into our lives to make our life easier. But time IS an illusion. Universe exists yes, but time doesn’t. It’s an unit created by human. There was an experiment that scientists not teaching a child the concept of time since he was born. He is still living fine and well. So no, although we think sense of time is normal. But to that boy, time doesn’t exist and that’s normal for him. This just proves that Time is an illusion human been using for a long time.
An idea majority thinks it’s exist and normal, really doesn’t mean it’s normal. The original post of this statement states that Normal is an illusion, is a valid statement. One man’s normal is another man’s chaos is true as well. No matter how many of the majority think an idea as normal, is never really normal. Because of the concept of Inception. And just because the majority agrees on something to be normal, doesn’t have to be normal. How many people success in this world just because they are different. They don’t see the way of majority sees things. In fact, jumping out of the box thinking, divergent thinking. Unfortunately is considered as abnormal, because no one thinks like that. All I’m just saying is that, the definition of “Normal” is not really black and white. Therefore, it is an idea. And an idea, is, an illusion. Because an idea can be infused. Can be altered. Can be persist. There are so many states of an idea. That no one, can say that, what is absolute Normal. Hope this clears things up a bit.”

Well well well, unfortunately, he hasn’t replied after this…. But so far, it has been an interesting and pretty exciting debate. I wish there were more people participate in this debate. But oh well…

Anyway, what’s your opinion about Normal then? A really good topic for any discussion if you need one spending time with your friends 😀

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Working

Hi again my fellow WordPress readers, been a while. My last post was 6 days ago. I’ve been really tired lately. Insomnia is killing me lately. Making me tired and losing focus at day. But quite active at night. No one can give me a constructive advice on how to deal with it. Most of them just say “go see a doctor” or asking me what are the problems I’m facing. Like I’m trusting a stranger person and telling them all my private reasons for having insomnia. I know they are trying to help, but judging from the questions they ask, they don’t know anything about psychology for sure. So I’m not opening my heart to them.. obviously..

I worked yesterday as well, as student helper for my school. It was exhausting but I love it. Working and earning money is my target right now. I needed that…

Anyway, this is just a quick post. Going back to bed.. Stay Healthy, Stay Safe.

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Temptation

One thing about when you saved a certain amount of money, is that you will have the urge to spend them.

I can hear those little bank notes screaming my name. Seducing me. Luring me to buy a new laptop, or even a 3DS with like 10 games, or maybe 10 Harry Potter wands… How about an expensive headset? Or maybe renew my Spotify subscription. A few more PC games wouldn’t hurt right…
Thing is, I’m 1/5 there for any trip, to anywhere I want.. But I’m not a person with a lot of self control. Just afraid that one day, out of nowhere, I will give in, spend them all..

Surprised I could hold on for months..

Anyway, just another quick post. Hope you all have a great day. Stay Healthy, Stay Safe.

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