Readers

Hi my fellow readers, just a quick blog. I made a quick check of my blog stats today. And I’m surprised to see that my blog readers are literally all around the world. Here is a photo of it. This is only 1 day data. There are even more countries haven’t shown yet. I’m just choosing a random day stats. Anyway, thank you all for supporting my blog. It really means alot to me. Hope you all have a wonderful weekends, Stay Healthy, Stay Safe!

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Gravity

Longing for Gravity

Today’s daily prompt is “You are on a mission to Mars. Because of the length of of the journey, you will never be able to return to Earth. What about our blue planet will you miss the most?”

So.. A journey to Mars.. I would totally say yes to that. I was so obsessed with the universe when I was a kid, that I read almost every single book I could possibly can in my high school library. A book worm I was. Journey in space was my dream.

Back to the topic, there will be a few things that I would miss. About Earth, the blue little planet. It would be the rain. I am a “rain” person. I hate sunshine, I hate sunny day, I hate warm weather. A rainy, stormy, windy and chilly day is my perfect day. I hate day, I love the night. I would prefer rainy day the whole year. I occasionally stand in the rain if I have the free time to do so. Soaking in the raindrops, feel the cleansing by nature, feeling blessed. It’s so relaxing, better if there is music as well. I suggest choosing “Stranger in Moscow” by Michael Jackson. So yeah, I would miss the rain for sure.

And the other thing I would miss, is of course the love of my life. Judit, still is, my soulmate. Even though we are apart for many reasons. I still love her. No matter what. It would hurt me a lot if I had to leave Earth. If I had to choose between Mars or Judit. Then I would just stay on Earth for obvious reason.

Last thing I would miss, food. In space, there is only dehydrated food, because of weight problem, fuel consumptions and all that. No more pizza, beer, all those cuisines. Not sure if I would leave all these food behind….

Unless… I was the chosen one and on a mission to save the Earth. All humanity depends on me, then well.. I would leave the gourmets, the rain and my love behind…

Worth it? Like I said, there is no right or wrong in everything. Just a matter of perspective. Does humanity worth saving? Does it worth leaving everything behind? What if I failed? Would you rather die with the one you love, then dying alone on a cause? Even if you succeed, you will never be able to return. Honestly, they should pick a homeless with nothing left behind person for the job.

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Results

Hi again my fellow WordPress reader, how are you all so far? Been doing well?

Well, I am not better than before. Still have insomnia, still missing Judit. Been trying to move on, but I still can’t…

Anyway, where I was these day? Been sleeping, drinking a lot.. I need some sleep these days. Hadn’t slept for 36 hours, I need a good sleep, which I still haven’t got one so far.

Did I mention that my first semester results is out now? Yeah, I got all Bs with a GPA of 2.85. Last year semester before I transferred, I had 1.84. I’ll say it’s a great improvement. And I’m happy with just 1 A. Almost got into Dean List… But like I said, I’m fine with it. Haven’t decided what I am going to do in the future yet. But I’m sure I will figure it out one day.

This semester has been boring as well. I’m still old me, never really have any motivation to study. That’s why I’m surprised to get such results. Oh well… whatever..

Speaking of sleeping, I need one right now. Night to you all, and if you just start your day, have a good one. Stay healthy, stay safe.

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All My Sons

Watched a play called “All My Sons”, it was actually better than I expected. I wasn’t a huge fan watching plays and dramas (because you know, too dramatic and gives me cringe every time). But this time it almost got me shedding tears, I would definitely watch this again.
As for the plot, well.. No spoilers. But it’s about family; Would you arrest your parents, if they did something illegal and against the laws? Would you believe your parents if they said they didn’t, and all the people say they did? What would you do if you find out they have been lying to you the whole time? Would you forgive them? Or turn them in? Blood or Love first?

A lot and a lot of moral questions, everyone has their own choices. There are really no right or wrong for everything. Just different perspectives.

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Death is only the beginning

Karma Chameleon

Today’s daily prompt is “Reincarnation: do you believe in it?”

 

Many cultures have this kind of myth. India, China, Egypt… They are separated civilizations, yet they have the same believes. Coincidence? Or just people are so afraid of dying that they all have the same ideal fantasy that there is an afterlife?

I am personally a science person. I believe when a person dies, they just disappear. No souls, no afterlife, nothing. It’s just like sleeping without dreaming. You don’t know that you are asleep, you don’t have the sense of time. The sleeping period is just a gap, you don’t feel tired or anything when you wake up. It’s a lost period of time. Dying is just a longer version of sleeping. (Eternal it is) But you won’t feel it though, you won’t even know you are dead, just like when you passed out in bed or drunk. So, you feel nothing after you died. Why should you be afraid? You won’t have feelings when you are dead, just like you don’t feel anything when you are sleeping.

Dreams may occur you may think. Dreams only exist when your brain is still functioning. Dreaming is a way to reorganise your memories. But when you are dead, your brain stops functioning. Memories will be lost, like computer. So there should be no dreams when you are dead. Where will we be going after death? Nothing. Oblivion. Scared? Of course you are, you still have feelings, you are still alive. But people shouldn’t think about death when they are still living. That’s something they should worry about when they are dead. Living the moment, planning what you want to do to make your life happier. Make the best of it. Die without regrets (or just little). Point is, if people live their live fully, they shouldn’t be thinking if there will be reincarnation or not. Take that a bonus if there is. If not, at least they had fun.

Maybe there is magic in life. Maybe there is reincarnation. Maybe there is a god. Maybe there is aliens. Maybe there are ghosts, angels, demons. We will never know. Irony is, we will eventually find that out, when we are dead.

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Whatever and Chill

You know what they say, Netflix and Chill. I don’t have Netflix, but I have online TV. This is what I have been doing today. Watching TV series and chilling all day at home.

Happy Single Awareness Day my fellow readers. How’s your day so far? For those who have someone to share the day with, please, have the best day you can. You deserve a lot. It’s not easy to have someone to spend the day with. For those who haven’t, well, don’t worry, there are still ways to spend the day. I’ve been chilling at home all day, haven’t stepped out of my room all day. I just hate seeing anything related to Valentine’s Day, that’s why I’ve been avoiding visiting Facebook and playing online games. It’s just me, Supernatural, food, vodka, and a good book.

I’ve been avoiding chatting too much with Judit either. Now it hurts every time I see her picture. Not to mention chatting with her. I’m just trying to stay away a bit. Apart from that, Helen, a girl who lives in Honduras, we are becoming good friends. She’s a really nice person. We met on 9gag, for those who don’t know what 9gag is, it’s just a website for memes. She made my day so much better today and it’s worth mentioning. Basically, it’s her holding a paper-folded heart with “Would you be my Valentine”. She is a really cute girl. And I’m grateful I met someone like her. Shame, distance, again, is always a catch. That’s why it’s best not to get in too deep. However, Honduras now is on my travelling list now. I will pay her a visit one day. It’s a promise and I always keep my promises.

Some advices to everyone out there. There are 3 rules in relationships: Don’t lie, Don’t cheat, and Don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you have secrets that you can’t tell your significant other, you basically failed your relationship. Fix it when you can.

Anyway, it’s been tough for me so far. I can’t really take too much anymore. It’s been too hard for me along the road. I’ve witnessed birth and death, cousin born and stranger suicide, friend passed away and relatives dealing with cancer. I’ve been through in love and break up. I’ve been through success and failing in career and studies all along. I’ve been through alone and depression. Although I’ve never seen the world physically, I’ve seen a lot, mentally…

Well, I drank too much, I need some sleep.. See you next time. Stay healthy, stay safe.

 

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Valentine

How are you my fellow blog reader? Hope you are doing fine… I’m not, as usual…

First of all, today’s WordPress daily prompt is kinda too much for me. I don’t think I’ll write a speech for that. Not in the mood….

Perhaps you may notice, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. If you have your significant other, I wish you all the best. If not, I feel you, and I totally understand how you feel. I personally hate Valentine’s day more than any days in the year. Reasons of course I don’t have someone to be with. Judit is in Netherlands, we can’t be together. She has her life, and here I am, regret that I can’t be there. I’m in the wrong place wrong time. I can’t even sleep properly, lovesick is haunting me right now. And I’ll be even worse tomorrow.

I bought a bottle of vodka though. Planning to get me through the weekends. It’s really hard being alone… We used to be so close together, now we are becoming more distant, our life is getting more busy and complicated. I still love her though. Nothing can change that. I just wish I could get my mind off… Seems it’s kinda impossible at the moment.

Speaking of heartbreak, my friend Melanie is going through hard times as well. She just officially broke up with her 1.5 year boyfriend few days ago. She has been crying for days. And I spent a few days to comfort her as well. I understand her feelings. I am doing my very best to be there for her. She is feeling lonely and abandoned. I hereby wish her all the best. She doesn’t really deserve this, she deserves better. And her ex, is just a jerk….

Anyway, I’m feeling lonely, abandoned, desperate and depressed. Plus the insomnia and lovesick I’m having.. I don’t think I could survive the weekends. I’m drinking that bottle of vodka for sure. I need that… Not that I’m an alcoholic, I just need something to get through the day that’s all.

Well, speaking of which, I now saved around $3000 for my trip to London/Netherlands. Which is around 1/5 of the target budget. There are a lot temptations around though. Been really hungry as well.. I saved all these money from skipping meals.. The new Harry Potter book is coming, and I really want to pre-order it. There are a lot of things I want to buy too, and I really want to spend all I have to buy them. Fortunately, I still have my self-control. I don’t think I can hold it much longer though.. We’ll see….

Oh well, just another depressing day.. Hope you have a nice day and please please, treasure your significant other whenever you can. You have no idea how lucky you are to have someone there for you. People like me going through tough times is just painful.. Anyway, wish you all the best. Stay healthy, stay safe. (Here’s a toast to your health)

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Live to Eat

Live to Eat

Today’s daily prompt is “Some people eat to live, while others live to eat. What about you? How far would you travel for the best meal of your life?”

Perhaps some of my readers have already learned that one of my dreams is to be a chef. Eating is my hobby. There are a few dishes I would love to travel to taste them. I mean, these dishes are available at where I live. But it’s not really that typical local flavour, somehow they taste different, maybe the chef alter a bit….

Foie Gras, french goose liver, is perhaps one of my favourite dishes. I would love to travel to France just to have a dish of that tasty, oily, sense of fullness taste.

And of course, how could I miss Beef Bourguignon. It’s a must try in France. And I’ll definitely trying that. I’ve heard the meat are tender, and match perfectly well with red wine. Mouth watering indeed.

Next dish I would love to have is Poutine. A must have in Canada. Basically it’s fries with gravy and cheese. But I have never taste the real Poutine in my life. And I have to try it, it’s so on my bucket list.

Next stop, The States, America, land of freedom, and food of course. Hotdogs, pizza, taco, donuts, burgers, steaks… Oh my, I can’t even name them all. It’s not like I haven’t had these dishes before. But a true flavour is always best at where they belong.

Although there are a lot of food I would like to have in the US, Europe is still my favourite place to live. And there are a lot of dishes worth trying, I can’t name them all… So I’ll just leave it here..

Oh, one more food I forgot to mention, Stroopwafel, a traditional Netherlands snack. Oh how I miss the taste of it. Judit sent me a pack before, they are heaven. I must try it again someday.

Anyway, hope I’m not getting you hungry. If I did, well, time for some snacks then 🙂

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Cleaning up

Hello my fellow readers, how is your day so far? Doing good? If not, I wish you all the best..

Me? Well, tired….

My sleeping problem is still here. I occasionally sleep 3 hours a day only.. The longest was I hadn’t slept for 70 hours.. Insomnia never goes away. All I can do is drink a bit of alcohol to get me to sleep.

Reason why I have insomnia? Pressure and depression…

Pressure, I need to make a living as soon as possible. I’m 24, still studying, and living with my parents. That’s not really what I should be doing at this time of life. Maybe I shouldn’t have dropped out of university. But maybe that’s the price of pursuing my dreams. Time is a universal price and currency for everything.

Depression, still learning to let go. Long distance is starting to affect my emotions greatly. Love sick is becoming my major problem of insomnia. I realise the only solution is to move on. But I can’t.. We discussed a few times, it would be a miracle that I can move to Europe in a few years. That’s impossible to be honest. And she wants to get married and have kids in these few years. Nothing I can do. I enjoyed the times we had. It’s the best time of my life, and I wish, we had more time. For our own sake, the best way is to move on. I’ll be by her side as always and be there for her if she needs me.

Being just friends hurts me a lot, I can’t even look at her pictures without feeling a knife to my heart. It hurts… I had a few emotion breakdown. Without anyone to talk to, so here I am. Talking to you. Thank you for being my audience. You are the only person I have now.

Anyway, I’m still trying to get over it. If you have any relationship problems, believe me, I understand. And I feel for you…

Have a great weekends by the way, wish you the best. Stay healthy, stay safe.

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Music Critics

Critical Eye

Today’s daily prompt is “Write about the subject you usually blog about as if you were a music critic.”

First of all, I’m not sure what music critics usually discuss about. So I’m not sure what to say about it.

But if I were a music critics, I would usually talk about the melodies and tunes of the music, and the lyrics meaning of course. Not sure what else to talk about, so I’ll just leave it here.

Speaking of music, what is your favorite genre of music?

For me, Celtic is my favorite. Relaxing, and makes you wonder about life. The feelings that Celtic gives me, is that I want to move away from city, living in the forest, mountains, or near rivers. Away from people, fuse with the nature. No more cars, people, lights around. Just me, night sky, whisper of nature, sound of the wind….

It’s my dream and hope one day I could move away, from my country, and live somewhere else.

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